Ten more minutes

It was 11:00pm when her alarm started blaring. Then five past, and at ten past it was brought to an end. She felt compelled to draw the curtains, let in the faint light from the streetlamp at the end of her driveway. She hated looking at it, at all the weeds forcing their way through a once pristine geometric brick pattern she’d been reassured would prevent such hideous overgrowth. Leah was better at gardening than her. Any plant she killed, Leah could resurrect within at least a week. Perhaps she could extend her powers to keeping plants dead. Two cars sat parked in the driveway, but they did little to block the weeds. A more organized person would’ve taken a shower before work, brush her hair and put on makeup. She did none of those things. Her bag was the same as always, dollar general, brown pleather, a broken zipper. Inside the scratchy polyester walls laid her portable radio, her headphones, a pack of cigarettes and her wallet. Her keys were to be tossed in unceremoniously once she’d arrived.

In the car, her mothers old honda accord, she sat for a moment, waiting for the heating to come on. Her mother had good taste, so she bought the brown and beige model. It imitated wood from afar, without needing to embellish itself. A reasonable choice. She traced her fingers over the steering wheel, feeling the bumps of the thread where it frayed. Imprints of her palms, clammy, white knuckled slowly breaking down the leather. Maybe she should get a leopard print cover. One of those fuzzy ones, beautiful women used to keep their hands warm while driving. She’d go shopping in the morning, after her shift, which she was going to be late if she didn’t interrupt her warming up ritual.

She wished to enjoy the empty streets of Graysville. The chill down her spine must’ve been the sleep clinging to her, the crisp september air, a wind from the creek maybe.

The gas station was empty save for a very silent man she’d never seen before and her coworker, not at all thrilled about her tardiness.

“You’re lucky I’m too tired to tell James.”
“I’m so sorry,” She spoke with a hushed tone, as though the security camera would hear her “I thought I’d left the stove on. So I drove back, and you know- with the cat- I can’t risk-”
He motioned to stop her and sighed, massaging his forehead with his index finger. She watched the fluorescent lamp reflect on a spot on the back of his head, she could only see when he leaned forward. He seemed to have forgotten to comb over it today.
“I don’t- I’m gonna go home and fall into bed. Have a good one.”

She didn’t have a cat. Unlike Leah with her beloved mangy persian. And she probably hadn’t turned the stove on in a good week or two. Moldy cups in her kitchen sink haunted her. The house was too big for her. Too much to clean. If it was spotless it’d seem even quieter, she told herself. At least this way she could pretend she was busy to impress the mold spores, surely finding their way into her curtains at the moment. But he had to believe her, lest he conspired with the spores.

So she sat down. As the clock struck 1:00 am it was time for her favorite part of her shift. A Melbourne based talk show. In Britain they were still starting up the radio stations, getting through the Breaking News of the night. All knife attacks in towns she’d never heard of, and politicians she didn’t care for meeting for the first time. But in Melbourne, there was gossip. Mothers berating teachers for homework, milkmen complaining about the cost of sanitizing milk bottles, a local play floundering on its first open night. A sanctuary between all the seriousness of life. She could feel like she was a part of it, once she’d gotten past their strange accents of course.

Today began with a distraught aunt, disapproving of her sister's way of raising her children. “It’s plain and simple, dangerous” the mother said, and the host gasped and agreed.

She turned it down when customers came. Turning back up the radio as the door shut, she heard it - “Breaking News.” She felt nothing then, just her cold hands, and a vibrating noise in her head, getting louder every second. She thought for a moment, over the explanation of the end to come, about how the sweat on her hands would surely wear down the paint on her plastic radio case. “It is a matter of hours.” she heard, once she was satisfied with the thought, rubbing circles into the lid atop the batteries. Such horrible news to get in this outlandish, alien accent. “Enjoy the rest of your lives” said one of the hosts, a woman with two dogs, who’d gotten divorced recently. She’d grown accustomed to her over the past year, like she was a friend.

Total Devastation

She dared to turn it off once the hosts left and the line went dead. Quitting for the day, or what was left of it. Not even music was put on the station after its desolation. Nothing to tide over the anxious listener. They must assume all of their listeners are hugging their children and husbands.

The cold grass made the back of her sweater damp. Blades of grass with little clumps of dirt at the end of them lined her in a circle, like a snow angel in mid September. Her face felt cold, her hands stiff and her joints creaky. She felt ridiculous having such complaints facing the end of it all.

If the world was to end, she thought there’d be alarms. Blaring sirens and lights shining into the sky. Dogs barking, car alarms, children crying in the arms of women. Things you see on TV over microwaved dinners and a cheap beer. But Graysville was silent. The peace clawed its way under her skin. The lack of crickets pushed bile into her throat. For once she wished someone would scream.

She rushed back inside, eager to extinguish her itchy insides with anything. Hopefully something with a percentage. The radio was still silent aside from static.

Her gaze drifted, sitting on the ground next to the magazine rack, surrounded by an empty bottle of bourbon and one freshly opened. The story about a high-tilt train just didn’t capture her. Instead the glow of the yellow pages above caught her eye. It bulged out of the magazine rack, barely contained in its wimpy prison. She reached for it, feeling her back creak.

Where was Leah anyway?

Her knuckles turned white, with her clammy hands wrapped around her steering wheel. They would’ve made a great contrast to the fuzzy cover she’d envisioned earlier. It would never happen, the time had passed and stores wouldn’t open in time.

She ran over three trash cans on the way. With the window open she screamed, filling the hole in her chest begging for noise, that was until her lungs begged for air and with a burning throat she started again, screaming and screaming. No one seemed to notice.

405 Maple St

Sophie held onto the railing of Leah’s porch. The world was still spinning. Her mouth tasted like acid.

Leah’s last name was Walker now. She missed the melody of Leah Langsten. It flowed better, she thought, trying to will away the real reason the change stung.

Something moved behind the curtains. Sophie’s gaze was cast toward the sky when the door opened.

Before her stood a very tired looking Leah. It was like the world was reduced to the two of them. A stagelight pointed straight down, at the entryway of Leah’s perfect little bungalow. With her perfect picket fence and perfect life. She’d cut her long pin straight hair into a bob, her nails were painted a soft pink which was chipped at the end and left a sizeable gap before the nail bed. She wore a nightshirt, and long pants, which looked silky to Sophie. She wished to reach out and touch them, see if they were as soft as she imagined.

Leah broke the silence first. “What are you doing here?”

A flash of anxiety burst into Sophie's chest. Of course, what was she doing here? It was 3 in the morning by now. Not at all a reasonable time to stop by, but when else could she? She didn’t have much left. She felt the time pass, a blush running up the back of her neck, her stomach churning.

“I was in the area. I was thinking about you- not like that. I mean. How are you? You got marrie-” Sophie was interrupted by the contents of her stomach splattering onto Leah’s slippers and doormat. Embarrassment and tears stung in her eyes, it tasted horrible. She wanted to die of shame. With her mouth full of bile she stumbled, “I’m so so so sorry oh my fucking god-”

But instead of hitting her, or slamming the door shut, Leah simply took a deep breath and put a hand on Sophie’s shoulder, to stop the waterfall of words about to burst from her like her puke just had. It was a trait that Sophie had always admired about her and hated at the same time. Endless patience. She never knew where she stood with Leah, whether she was loved or hated. Leah never showed it. How could things not have gone wrong?

The bathroom rug was pink and fluffy. Perfect for laying on, and letting the world spin by. Sophie watched the dead bug in the light fixture closely, as if it might hop up and run off if she took her eyes off of it. Leah sat on the edge of the bathtub, watching her slippers and doormat soak in a nice soapy bath that Sophie would have probably needed more.

“So…” Leah started awkwardly, “I just put down Gina- the baby. She always wakes up at 2:43… I don’t know how she does it.”
“Babies have great internal clocks,” Sophie pretended to know “It’s to do with their sensitivity to… electromagnetism.”
Leah snorted, then leaned onto the wall. Her eyes drifted to the almost full bottle of bourbon that Sophie still clung to.

“What’s your husband like?” Sophie had closed her eyes.
She was met with silence, Leah was considering, and knocked some of her cigarette ash into an old mug.
“Luke’s nice, his parents are good to me, he’s got a good job. He’s spontaneous.”
“You dumped Ryan?” Sophie had to hide her glee, and she was doing a pretty awful job.
“I know you hated him, but yeah. He cheated on me. It was a few weeks after- after… you know.” Leah lit a cigarette and smoked into the bathroom vent.
Sophie knew and changed the topic.
“My husband’s useless. He’s got a big bald spot the size of a dinner plate but I make him laugh.”
Leah gave her a strange look, but the smile on her lips made Sophie’s chest warm.
“Right. What’s he called?”

Half an hour later they were giggling again, huddled together on the floor. Sophie had talked Leah into testing the bourbon. It was like no time had passed at all and they were teenagers, passing a bottle back and forth, hiding under the bleachers.

“Shhhhhhhh” Leah had put a finger to Sophie’s lips, “The baby!”
“Let’s go outside” Sophie said excitedly, her fingers curling around Leah's hand, “No babies there.” She sat up straight now, the warm glow of the ambient light made her look so alive, not the hollow, feverish apparition Leah had opened the door to earlier.

They walked for a bit. Barefoot through the dewy grass. To keep eachother from slipping, they held hands. Sophie pretended hers weren’t shaking.

“I told the others,” Leah whispered. They had stopped near a little stream of water, tearfully watching the rocks.
“I know” Sophie lied
“I’m sorry, I know it’s awful. I shouldn’t have-”
“It’s okay” Sophie lied.
“I couldn’t imagine it then. With another woman- we were just girls then, we made mistakes.”
“We made mistakes,” Sophie reassured her.
“I didn’t mean for them to all just leave you behind. I’m sorry”

She felt her heart breaking all over again. You left me too, she thought, not just them, but she couldn’t say it aloud. The warmth of Leah's hand in hers. They laid in the cold grass, and shivered together.

“Did you make new friends?”
“I had my mom. Our relationship got better when I got older, and when she got divorced.”
“She died last year, right? I read her obituary in the paper.”
“Her sister wrote it. I couldn’t.. write. I couldn’t do anything. I still feel like I can’t do anything.”
“Like what?”
“Like.. dishes.. mopping. Getting out of bed.”
“I’ll come by,” Leah said with a yawn, “I’ll help out. Be your friend again.”
Leah leaned against her, cuddled into Sophie’s side. She would have cried, but instead she stayed still and stared at the dark sky.

Hours passed, she watched the stars pass slowly, and listened to Leah’s soft breaths.

The sky turned red first, then a bright white. She felt the heat radiating from the air, but Leah next to her was warmer.

As the light became blinding, she finally closed her eyes, and laid to rest.